The first lie I can remember telling, when I was six, was a fake medical symptom: I cried to my

mother that my stomach hurt too much to go to school. Which implied that I should stay home

and play with the toys that stood at the ready on my one bedroom shelf. I think that counts as a

real lie not a white lie because it was self-serving, not protective of another. Real lies differ not

by degree but by substance: they are told to benefit the self even at the cost of the other, and

real lies may create pain and discomfort for others.

A recent neurological study showed that the brain adapts to repeated lying. The more often one

lies, the more likely that lying would increase with repetition. Small white lies escalate into

bigger real lies, gathering dishonesty steam. As we can see in the present political maelstrom

how truly enormous lies have exploded into vast and bizarre conspiracy theories and

proliferative misinformation.

So, why do we lie? It is said that children under two never lie whereas lying peaks during

adolescents, presumably because of contentious social relationships. White lies seem the most

innocent because they serve to protect others, or serve as self-protective, or allow the

avoidance of awkward situations. Apparently, though, when performed frequently, real lies can

begin to stream out. Minor dishonest decisions can snowball into financial fraud, plagiarism,

online scams, and scientific misconduct.

Neural mechanisms that support this kid of escalation obviously override moral and ethical

boundaries which also are supported by neural pathways. The struggle between these two

human foibles is not unlike the struggle between kinship propriety and alien impriety between

loving our neighbors and ready to go to war against foreigners.

Lies build on these two opposite human propensities. White lies constitute well-intended

falsehoods, which are scientifically labelled prosocial lies and can actually build trust and a

sense of benevolence between people. Real lies, classified as antisocial lies, are told for

personal gain and may result in harm on others. White lies may be embedded in the

communication culture of those we deem as our people. Real lies implicitly pitch the liar against

others, ultimately placing them in an alien position. This introduced a disruptive element into

the common discourse, even establishing a hostile, divisive estrangement. Then we get

insurrections, racially motivated riots, and wars.

So, why do we lie? In the complex cultural and biological evolution of modern humans this

multiply realized split within the cohesive social balance seems to have continually advanced as

civilizations progressed out of the forests and into cities, always re-rehearsing battles between

near neighbors and far strangers.

White lies may be cozy and cohesive.

Real lies break us apart. Over and over. For. Ever.